‘Love Life…Maybe a Rather grandois Term for staring at strangers on the bus’ (Peep Show)  

I can’t quite fathom what it is, but my lust for love has somewhat dried up. Five years ago, the prospect was both exciting and alluring – now with a couple of heart breaks in the bank and a no nonsense attitude to Adele, the cynic in me no longer gets turned on by the idea at all. Dating in your twenties is a blessing as much as it is a curse.

A Blessing

·      The pool of fish is pretty bloody huge

·      The whatsapp convo the morning after a big night out amongst single friends is almost always hilarious

·      Dating apps have made things easy AF

·      This is probably the best looking we’re all going to be (perhaps even ever!)

 

A Curse

·      Inside this AB-SO-LUTE-LY HUGE pool of fish, everyone seems to know everyone.

·      The Whatsapp convo the morning after often has horrific photographic evidence

·      Dating apps can make you lazy AF

·      This is probably the best looking we’re all going to be (perhaps even ever)!

 

As twenty somethings, the ‘love game’ can be somewhat tedious, especially now whilst there are 500 new ways of meeting and connecting with someone ‘digitally’ or otherwise, there are just as many new ways to block and phase them out- cue ‘ghosting’, ‘bread crumbing’ and ‘benching’ – for those blissfully unaware of what these new urban dictionary slang references mean, give them a Google and thank us later.

In all honesty, what it’s bottled down to is I can’t really be arsed anymore and the peak of my pro activeness, has quite literally been staring at strangers on the tube- however, truth be told, the talent isn’t always so strong on the Victoria line from Brixton at 7am.

 

My last 2 dates I went on, had rather catastrophic results.

·      The Beautiful South African: who I didn’t recognise the day after the night after when we coincidentally got onto the same carriage.

·      The great date that ended in disaster when my ex rocked up – I don’t know who of the three of us was more traumatised…

Neither of these resulted in a second date (can’t for the life of me understand why?!) and actually in hindsight, I am thankful for the time it has allowed me to think solely of myself. Two years is the longest I’ve been single and in these last two years, there has been no one to compromise with, no one’s baggage to contend with and no one’s crap to put up with and it’s been bloody marvellous. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have everything cracked, but actually it’s taken the time I have had to myself, to work out exactly what it is that I do want and what I don’t, to make me more confident in my choices. We shouldn’t have to settle in our twenties and we shouldn’t have to stay with people because we’re scared of being alone. The last 2 years have taught me, that at this point in my life anyway, being on my own has been the most wonderous thing I could have done. I put my career first and made brazen work choices that I perhaps would not have made if it were for another person. I attended night classes to further my knowledge of an industry I was interested in and I focussed on my fitness (peaks and troughs with this one). I also for the first time in nine years wasn’t getting over someone (praise the Lord) and was really just getting to know myself even better than I did before.

 

This is not to say, I became a new person overnight and became a born-again virgin- even though after one particular bout (of-nearly-nine-months) it did have me wondering…

No, rather this is to reassure you, that the time spent on your own does not have to result in either a pity party or chlamydia. There will come a point I expect where I will actually want to start dating again- however the absolute joy, this time will be that I have spent the best part of this year doing the things that I have wanted, in order to get to the place that I want to be.

 

 

 

Twenty Mile Club