For all those that have watched the comedy series Peep Show you may be familiar with the quote
‘How do I feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check. Alone? Check. Just another ordinary day.’
It sums up how a lot of us feel and there’s no denying that at some point in your life you have lain in bed and thought ‘what the actual fuck am I doing with my life?’ Although we as a generation are blessed to have been the generation that really grew with technology ie: the digital babies who had the joy of experiencing first hand a black and white Nokia or Samsung. We are also the generation that saw the initial evolution of the iPhone and understood it. We grew up amongst the era of reality TV, as television explored the depths it could go to invade people’s privacy for our own entertainment. We’ve grown up with people who’ve made millions from dodgy sex tapes and from Instagram accounts where all they photograph are themselves (#iwokeuplikethis) and these are people that are seemingly ‘celebrated’.
Measuring our own success can become somewhat difficult, as there are so many different spectrums you could look at. The other half of this scope are the people that had simple ideas or big dreams and these can come in the shape of those that are changing the world, be it for the rights of other people, be it because they made one of the most revolutionary social media platforms the world has ever seen or just because they have the ability to write music that a lot of people can identify with. These people are also celebrated and you could argue for all the right reasons whilst pursuing their own Twenty Mile paths. There is no getting away from it. You’re surrounded by all these different spectrums of people who have made their own variation of success because we are the digital babies who’ve grown up surrounded by so many different mediums in which to view, find or read about it.
So then you reach that conundrum of ‘What am I doing? … What is my contribution?’ It’s easy to feel inferior to those that we see and read about but we have to remember that everyone has their own demons, has their own Peep Show thoughts. You can have a raw talent and still be riddled with insecurities. You can guarantee every person you’ve ever looked up to have had days or nights, just as you have, where they’ve thought, ‘How do I feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check. Alone? Check. Just another ordinary day.’
Just because someone looks like they have it all doesn’t mean they do and we as a generation have to stop measuring success by how self important we feel, how much money we make over our peers or how seemingly impressive our resumes are. We all have the same feelings of self-doubt- its human nature. We doubt ourselves and we doubt our choices. I think the hardest thing is to actually find something you can do which will prevent these feelings of self-doubt and that is to find something you truly enjoy. It’s difficult though and I’m not claiming I’ve found what that is myself either. I am very much on the Twenty Mile treadmill myself and whilst your twenties are easy there’s no doubting they’re hard.