There is a formula that can determine what kind of night you had, based on the time you got in. Whilst it would be great to think every night spent in a bar, pub or club was a success the clock may say otherwise. Therefore, those struggling to decipher just what kind of night they had last night, let us give you a helping hand.

 

Between the hours of 8.30pm – 10pm means one of the following:

 

  • After work drinks: however, you have a presentation in the morning so are ‘being good’.
  • You’re on a diet: you have sustained quite the beer gut over the last year and are holding fire on the ‘heavy nights’.
  • Your date was a flop: the fact you eeked it out until 10pm is actually commendable anyway.
  • You were at an awkward social gathering with your ex…No explanation needed.

 

Between the hours of 11pm-2am can mean one of the following:

 

  • Your date was a success! They could actually string a sentence together and looked like their Tinder picture.
  • You got carried away in the pub: it happens to the best of us.
  • Your boss got the company card out: KERCHING!
  • You were invited round to dinner on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday: it’s nearly the weekend anyway!

 

 

Between the hours of 2am-4am:

 

  • You’re boozed!
  • ‘Everybody in love but your hands up in the club!’ that’s not you but you do it anyway (wannabe).
  • You ended up in one of the following:
    • McDonalds
    • KFC
    • Mr Chow’s
    • Some other shop selling deep fried grease that tastes wonderful
  • You are definitely in an Uber (like hell you were getting public transport-my chariot awaits)
  • There is a minimal but slight chance you are bringing Steph, Beth or Beck home from the bar and every chance you will call her the wrong name in the morning.

 

 

Between the hours of 5am-7am:

 

  • You and your friends have joined forces with ‘anyone left over’ in the club.
  • You all get involved with a ‘circle time’ session of story sharing at whoever was stupid enough to offer up their house.
  • You will start sentences with ‘life’s just hard because’ when your life isn’t that hard.
  • You believe you are having a great time but know in a couple hours, just how much you will regret all the ‘extra curricula’s’ that gave you the stamina to stay up so late.
  • You’re a fool

 

 

So, there we have it: the formula to determine just what kind of night you had, based on the time you got in…

 

 

The Twenty Mile Club